I am still unsure of God’s plan for me. I surely didn’t think divorce would ever happen but it did… and… I’ve learned to be okay with it. In fact, I don’t care what anyone says… being a single Mom isn’t so bad. It’s just the Queen and the Princess and guess what… I’m totally fine with that! She is a handful in itself so adding a partner in the mix just complicates the situation. Read on to learn some benefits as to why being a single parent isn’t as bad to what people make it out to seem.
Primary Decision Maker in the House!
While having some else in the house can be a benefit in hearing their opinion, to me- it’s mostly annoying. Part of it could be I felt like I was controlled during my marriage sometimes. I would voice my opinion and it never seemed to get heard. Huh– now that I think about it… it’s mainly, I like being the primary decision maker. When we were married/living together, I would give Raegan’s father the upper-hand. Rightfully so, since he was the man of the house. However, he would take it to the extreme.
- Example: As soon as Raegan got a little cough, off to the doctor she went. I’m like… why?? I understand men can be a little over protective but as the Mom, I know the difference in a small cold compared to a bacterial infection such as bronchitis. As the doctor told us many times, she just has a cold- you two will have to wait it out. I knew this and mentioned it every time, but did he listen- nope! As a result the medical bills piled up.
Now… if Raegan becomes a little sick… it’s “what do you think we should do”? Possibly, he could feel a little guilty for not being with his family any more. It possibly could be, b/c she is my in my primary care and he isn’t around as much… he feels I know more what’s best and how to handle situations. It doesn’t matter to me- I just know, it feels good to be the primary decision maker in the house!
Every Other Weekend to Myself… yeah Buddy!
In another post, I talked about how I am an introvert, living with an extrovert kid! All I can say is: “Jesus build me a fence”… so that I can climb on the other side to find a moment of peace! Raegan is a talker (another trait from her Daddy) *roll my eyes*. While I love that she is outgoing, that can be a lot on a single parent especially if that single parent needs quiet time to recharge. So what do I do… I count down the days until her father comes to pick her up and then I push her out the door! LOL– okay not literally but close enough! I value my times alone and if I choose to be around company, then there isn’t any problem going out b/c I know she is safe with her Dad.
My Child will Follow my Values More!
While Raegan’s Dad has pretty good morals/values and as far as I know, when she is with him he does right by her. Did you hear me when I said… she is a talker! Believe me, she would tell me who and whom her father has come in contact with. However, it’s nice to know since she is with me the majority of the time, I believe it’s my values she will follow the most.
- Example: Her Dad believes in God and is a Christian but he isn’t consistent in attending church and doing religious acts of service- for instance, participating in any ministries. While Raegan is with me, she is a part of the children’s choir and she watches her Mom attend to the nursery a couple of Sundays a month. We also pray and read bible stories all the time. I’m not saying I’m a Saint but I like knowing the fact at least one of her parents is consistent in their faith. Now, I have nothing but confidence, when she is old enough to make her own decisions, she will remember what her Mom taught her.
Yep, I Saved the Best for Last… Her Father and I Get Along Better than Ever Before!
YASSSSSSS and Praise the Lord for deliverance!!! Who would have thought this would have happened when Him and I were going through it! Nope, not I!!! I can actually say we are pretty good friends. I mean, we aren’t having heart to heart conversations or any thing- LOL; but I feel he finally values my opinion. We can joke around without one of us getting our feelings hurt. He even offers advice regarding work b/c we work for the same company. I’m not sure if this would have happened without us having our own space. We are two strong-willed, very independent individuals. Do I wish we could have worked it out? Of course! Who gets married to say they will divorce years later! But for the child’s sake, it was best we go our separate ways. I would rather my child see us happy not living together rather than living together angry everyday.
One Last Point I want to Make…
Here is the thing, if you believe everything in this article then you are more naive than what I was thinking. I am here to tell you, BEING A SINGLE PARENT DOES SUCK! Okay, everything in this article was true. Nonetheless, I would be lying if I said being a single Mom is totally peachy-keen because it is not!