Royals- I had fun writing Part I in Being a Single Parent Isn’t so Bad, but now it’s time for me to get deep while writing Part II. Again, what I wrote wasn’t the untruth, however I don’t want to make it seem like being a single Mom is sunshine and daisies. Nope it is NOT! Lastly, don’t take this post as complaining. No one is complaining, I may be venting, but complaining… no way 😉
You Get Every Other Weekend Off!
Now, I know what you are thinking… “MsQueenRo, you just mentioned in your first post that having every other weekend is the best.. so I’m a little confused?” Yeah… yeah… I can see where you could be confused thus let me make it plain. Yes, I get every other weekend off. Yet that also means I HAVE HER for 1.5 weeks until her Dad comes to pick her up for a 2 to 3 day weekend… hmmm. Okay, allow me to be totally transparent- honestly, her father travels. This is the actual reason why I keep her more. *In mid thought* Wait, hold up… even before his current career state… he still only kept her every other week- huh! Come to think about it, as soon as he makes some career changes we will renegotiate our arrangement. (sorry got a little side track)
Where am I going with this… don’t get complacent with your state. If both of you are rational, ask nicely (yes, NICELY) is it okay if we talk about changing up our arrangement? Find a compromise that will work for both to take the strain off of one.
It’s Just You and the Children!
Jesus build me a fence, better yet, dig me a hole so that I can climb into it and hide! The bathroom isn’t safe; outside isn’t safe; my own car isn’t safe! What do I mean??? There is a little “peace-snatcher” anytime Mommy wants to have some moments of quietness. Now just imagine, it’s just you and her… every 10 days… constantly… for the past 2 to 5 years. If there was another person- an adult, not a child- then there would be someone else she could have a conversation with. They would keep her occupied so that I can write, clean, listen to my audio books, or shoot… just have some alone time to stare at the wall without:
- Mommy, what are you looking at?
- Mommy, do you know where my socks are?
- Mommy, what are we having for dinner?
- Mommy, why are you in the bathroom?
I just thought I would let you know those questions were asked all in a 5 minute span… like I asked… Jesus build me a fence… SMH 🙁 What do I do… pray first b/c that helps keep the aggravation down; but then I explain to Raegan… “Mommy needs some time alone, find a book to read for a while and then I’ll come read with you.”
I’m Tired of Having so Many Jobs!
In a previous parenting post, Raegan thought being a Mom was easy so I had to explain to her… we have many jobs. But gosh-darnit, I would love to take applications to obtain some help- LOL!
- Example: When I come into an overflow of money, the 2 positions I will hire for first are a chauffeur and chef. Cooking and driving are 2 jobs that I would totally love to hand off to anyone willing to help. Since Raegan is getting older and more active, I want to keep her involved in many extracurricular activities. From 2016 to current, Raegan was involved in dance and gospel choir. That was 2 to 3 practices a week on top of daily school drop off and pick-up.
Consequently, I am superwoman just not with magical powers… I have to let go of some things b/c I’ve become too tired. Raegan will still be a part of the choir but dance has been put on hold for a year or so. We are concentrating on her education anyway since she will begin kindergarten next year. My priority is to have her fully reading beforehand. What am I saying… it’s okay to let some things go. You are NOT superman/woman (well, yes you are) but seriously, our bodies can’t handle so must stress so prioritize your activities. If there is anything that can be let go- well, do what Princess Elsa would do… LET IT GO!
Support is Hard to Find!
People have offered to take care of Raegan, but let’s face it… do they really want to watch someone’s else child? I don’t trust it; meaning, they may feel you owe them b/c they helped you. Moreover, I especially DO NOT want to watch no one else’s kid; outside of my niece and nephews… nah, I’ll pass. On the flip side, I do have an Aunt who lives near by and she adores Raegan. She watches her at least once a month just so that I can get a break. I always appreciate that! Nonetheless, there are times a friend may ask… “hey girl you want to go out?” I’m thinking- sure– but then I stop to think… do I really want to bother my Aunt to watch her every time I go out? She would gladly say yes, but she has her own life. So I put my priorities back in hind site and say… “No, I’ll pass; maybe another time.”
It Makes Dating Hard to Do!
I bet at least one person was wondering about this subject- LOL! Unfortunately, it’s all true.
- Oh you have a daughter… how does the child’s father behave?
- No, we can’t hang out… I don’t have anyone to keep Raegan.
- I know I said I was going to call you… I apologize, I fell asleep b/c I was so tired.
Do these all sound familiar? [Think of anymore, comment at the bottom] Dating as a single parent can be hard, but not impossible. As long as you have patience, understanding, and open communication… I promise it will work out. How about when it comes to meeting their or your child for the first time? Well, click here to learn how I handled that situation.
Your Goals and Aspirations are Put on Hold!
This concern probably gives me the most anxiety b/c I am so goal-oriented. I have so many goals I want to accomplish but living as a single Mom, makes it hard. I would love to:
- Write Every Day: But Raegan deserves my attention just as much as the computer so I have to dedicate time to her. Instead of writing everyday, I’ll remain consistent to writing at least once a week until she becomes a little less dependent on me.
- Own a New Car: I have a whole post as to why I haven’t upgraded my car yet. Click here!
- Travel Every Other Month: Did you not just read that finding childcare support can be a beast- LOL? Oh one more thing… not being able to travel as much has made me turn down positions offered by my job b/c it required more than 50% travel. Yet her father gets to travel the country… hmmm.
Okay you get my point. My only advice I can offer (due to the fact I’m struggling with this one myself) is to remain steadfast on your goal. You may have some bumps in the road but put on your big boy/girl underwear and drive like you are Mario Andretti! Continue to have patience and don’t compare yourself to others. Remember, God always has a plan for you even if it’s not where your eyes can see.
LIKE and COMMENT Below: Please provide an encouraging tip to anyone who reads this will have their spirits lifted.